I put up some new stuff for downloading over in the [digital] section. I also fixed the the incredibly broken links to the desktop images. Not that anyone tried to download them anyway.

I have a high-res version of the Elder Sign that I drew (which you can see on the right side of this page, at the bottom of the column), which scales down niceley to make an avatar or icon of whatever size you desire. It will be available someday.

In other news, [the President of Mars might scare the bejeezus out of you].

  mood: Vaguely annoyed by...
now playing (in my mind): Doo-Wah-Diddy

I know Benjamin
He has a face of rubber
It can bounce off walls

Wendigo the Rat
Is Benjamin's trusty pet
He smells like sewage

Thus begins the tale
Of rubber-faced Benjamin
And his trusty rat:

One day, Benjamin
Was sipping on some white wine;
Wendigo smelled bad

A man in a suit
Approached Benjamin and said:
"OW! AIR FLAME!"

Benjamin just stared
As the man fell to the ground
Rotating slowly

Wendigo came over
And poked the man with a stick
There was a loud POP!

The man had vanished
Leaving behind a bouquet
Of bright red flowers

"Oh," said Benjamin
"Those are Fire-Coloured Daisies!
My mother likes them."

He grabbed the flowers
But when he walked back inside
Wendigo tripped him

The old rat cackled
As Ben's face hit the pavement
And bounced all around

Soon the bouncing stopped
And the hilarity passed
Benjamin was okay

(Well, except for the
Broken nose. After all, his
Bones are not rubber)

Benjamin got up
Admonished his stinky rat,
And left in a huff

Having given up
On staunching his bleeding nose,
He wrote a letter:

"Dear mum (who birthed me),
Here are some pretty flowers
I hope you like them."

He sealed the letter
And packed up the flowers in
An asbestos box

Early next morning
Benjamin took the package
To the Post Office

The postman took it
To be sent off to Ben's mum
Then he did a jig.

Benjamin went home.
En route, Wendigo tripped him;
Ben rolled down a hill

But his lip got caught
On a cactus and was stretched
Seventeen feet long.

In a couple weeks,
Benjamin got a letter.
It was from his mum:

"Ben, you rubber twit,
Those were Fire-COVERED Daisies
My house has burnt down."

"A man came out of
The smoking rubble and said:
'I AM A FLOWER!' "

"He was very nice,
So we've decided to wed
(Since your dad has died)."

"I still love you, so
You can come to the wedding.
It is next tuesday."

"Leave that rat at home
He smells just like a cesspit
And eats too much cake."

"Wear a handsome suit,
And don't forget clean knickers
Love, Your dear old mum."

The End

  mood: Random
now playing: Fuck you, Blue October!